When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. He has not had to pay taxes, ever.
Cars were invented to escape Chuck Norris faster, not about to be outdone, He invented the "Car Accident"
Chuck Norris was once charged with attempted murdered in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
Bullets Dodge Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris stubbed his to once, It caused Atlantis to sink.
Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris's PC will crash.
Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
Most kids pee their name in the snow, Chuck Norris pees his name in Metal and Concrete.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's beef.
No matter what your mother always said, Chuck Norris can tune a fish.
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